Emotional Mess

I'm an emotional mess.
I am broke. Yes.
There are too much up, down, split, crack and void in my graphic.

One day I feel right, like I am the happiest person on earth. No storm nor explosion could ruin it.

Second day, I could feel the power inside of me. I told myself that I could conquer the world with this power.

Next day, I feel like goddamn savage. No conversation without sarcasm or meme. Blessed you if I was your ally those day.

Another days I am the most ignorant version I could be. Think that my words were nothing but trouble and poison.

The other days, I cried out of nothing. Image of any parent: cry. My favorite characters found their lovers: cry. See a cutie duck: cry too! Like why the hell the world become so sentimental out of nothing?

And many other day I struggle to have faith on my own self. Stand for my own self, and defend my own consciousness from the thoughts of the people around me. I once thought that they were right and they judge me because what I did was wrong. And I did wrong. They judged me because of their mere unlikeliness to me. My simply live, was wrong.

But there were also days, in which I know that I did wrong. That I did it too much over the lines. Trust me, I felt guilty too. For their mental health, further more for my own peace. How I hope nothing will going wrong anymore.

Now, when I learnt how to survive and made it, still I can't handle my own messy emotion. If only I have something to do with it....

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