the whole sky

Okay, are you anxious about other people's thoughts toward you? Pernahkah kamu merasa tidak nyaman  dengan kiriman sesorang di media sosial? Pernahkah kamu merasa bahwa kamu hanya sebernilai tatapan yang diberikan padamu? Semua orang pasti pernah mengalami ketidaknyamanan. Tapi bagaimana jika ketidaknyamanan itu berlangsung terus-menerus? Bagaimana jika ketidaknyamanan dari luar itu malah membuat kita tidak nyaman dengan diri kita sendiri? Atau lebih buruk, kehilangan diri kita sendiri? Pemikiran seperti 'saya memiliki masalah mental' dan 'mental saya bermasalah', benar-benar bukan sesuatu yang kita ingin pikirkan. Bahkan pemikiran sesederhana 'apa yang salah dengan saya?' benar-benar bisa menjerumuskan kita pada hal yang tidak-tidak . Dalam sebuah kiriman pada akun informasi visual Insider, disebutkan bahwa 1/3 mahasiswa tahun pertama di Amerika Serikat memiliki masalah dengan kesehatan mentalnya. Kebanyakan mereka memerlukan penanganan intra kampus...

but, you know, life was never easy; what ifs, wrong timing, distance, red thread, unrequited love, ghosts from your past. Who knows about ours....

Could you imagine, fly return to home late evening, in a golden hour, and fly off home early morning, in a magic hour, and between those flight is a dreamy time with the people of stars. What a wonderfully bitter-sweet journey. -06.09-06.19.18 On a dreadful struggle to meet the faces I've known and missed.

This is departing in a cruelest way; counting days and still never enough. I hate timing, and timing is such a pretty badass bitch. And I feel the need to punch that bitch in the face, with a chair. - S. Noor Airport Tuesday, June 19th 2018 5:54 A.M in an early morning flight to Surabaya .

Wasn't it easier if, eventually you'll end up with this only one person in your life? If eventually you both are inseparable? Even if we gotta go through so many obstacles; sacrifice so many things, bent and break for countless times, stumbled on same stones, fall for over and over again. Even if there are so many hearts to hug, so many places to go, so many names to say, so many loves to fall in. If in the end it was the person you think the most, wouldn't it all be easier?

One day, you came and  knocked on my door, with no sign; after a dreadful battle between a stormy ocean inside my mind, and a rocky mountain of my thought. You've always come to pay a visit between a long tiring journey of a heart-home, to another awful journey of another dead-shore. So, I'm stuck at that moment; when you knock on my door, and I don't have a gut to open that door.

You gotta know this; know, when I shared my playlist with you, means that you were nothing just it. When I share those songs to you; I want you to hear my thoughts, I want you to read my minds, I want you to understand my feeling, and I want you to know me; more than what you see or what you hear, more than what I show you, more than what I sing you.