the whole sky

When I stop crying over you. It doesn't mean that I'm over you. I just getting too tired to choke again. It's already hard to breath having you far. It's gonna choke me to death to cry over our closeness. We are really close, chemistrically connected. Yeah. Really close, and chemistrically poisonous. I broke without you; but I could kill myself trying to desperately have you.

Kau sudah pergi, mengapa kembali? Aku sudah terlanjur nyaman dengan engkau yang hilang tanpa kabar. Aku sudah nyaman hanya memanggilmu dalam bisik-bisik. Aku sudah nyaman hanya melihatmu dalam angan-angan. Aku sudah nyaman dengan kita yang tak mungkin bertemu. Jarak di antara kita tidak hanya terpaut mil jauhnya. We have this misunderstanding. Itu adalah jarak terjauh yang memisahkan dua manusia. Tapi aku nyaman, karena itu sangat indah. Bodoh nian saat kukatakan kau bebas pergi dan kembali untuk kemudian pergi lagi. Jahat sekali aku pada diriku sendiri, hingga sebebas itu engkau boleh pergi dan kembali. Tanah yang kurindukan kembali berguncang ketika engkau kembali. Aku harus beradaptasi kembali dengan bayanganmu. Tiada kah engkau mengerti?

So what do you mean? I asked for sign. I did. I meant nothing by that, know that you were nowhere to see me. Know that you were nowhere to be found. But, there you are; magically, charmingly, georgeously show your light in the last minute of midnight. I was in the middle falling asleep. That moment, I thought I was dreaming, 'cause its been six months since you suddenly, magically, helplessly disappear from anywhere. But, there you are; continouosly, bravely, greatly show yourself in my view. Are you giving me signs? Are you really care about me ranting about the signs I need? Then, I deeply, greatly, regretfully apologise. I never knew, that you would take that as a sign from me. I'm sorry for making us both trapped in this confusing sign-giving interactions. We could give each other the signs that we ask. But do we really mean it? We could end up somewhere, instead of giving each other the key to the door, we're gonna giving each other knives and guns. Sca...

Das ist mir Wurst! I don't wanna concept and system. Why don't we just grow? It did give you scars But don't you see the beautiful crack in the stone that craft by nature? Isn't it beautiful for the tree to grow tall through the dirt? Isn't it comfortable to just lying down in a meadow and there is nothing limits you but the stars? What's the point on having stacks of achievment certificate? Won't you rather have stacks of beautiful harvest that gave to you by nature? Das ist mir Wurst!

I read somewhere: "People nowadays, do not listen to understand. They listen to reply." Yes. I see it already. It clearly right. Cause it already happened. We always have the crowd to voice their mind, but we have no one to understand what do we need. Yeah, you always want to stand out to be seen. But won't you keep away to see the things wholly? Would you stand outside of the circle and have the infinity?

Even when we trapped in time, there is no way we could meet. Even when the dream is real, there is no way we could have a time . If I could leap the time away, still, there is no other way.