the whole sky

It wasn't the first time. We did it for so many times. Yet it never been an easy thing to do. It wasn't my first six months study. It wasn't my first semester. Yet it still so hard to face what's coming next. 'Cause I know I won't have you with me. You won't be there by my side. We may still had a conversation, and you'd always be the first to connect the line. All the voices and whispers, all of our virtual meetings, I still can't get enough of them. The truth is, I know it's hard for both of us; even before we parted. Tonight, in this very midnight, is a damn week before I depart, and I'm wide awake thinking about the words I supposed to say that day. Or the day before, or two days before. It was still the hardest part of goodbye I've ever known. The saddest thing here was, I was the one who planned for all the goodbyes.

Mungkin saya sudah tidak mencintai kamu lagi. Mungkin kamu masih menghantui saya, hanya karena mungkin cuma kamu yang saya pernah ketahui. Mungkin jika ada orang lain, saya akan berhenti mengaitkan segala hal denganmu. Mungkin jika saya ingin sedikit membuka hati saya, mungkin dengan sedikit bantuan, kamu mungkin tidak akan ada apa-apanya. Mungkin jika saya bersama orang lain, kamu tidak akan pernah terkenang. Mungkin saya akan bahagia dengan seseorang itu. Mungkin juga cerita saya dan dia akan berakhir seperti cerita saya dan kamu. Tetapi bila kemudian saya patah hati lagi, mungkin bukan kamu yang mematahkannya. Mungkin dia orang lain yang sepertimu, tapi mungkin tidak sepertimu. Mungkin dia.